My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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