Please, let me fuck your mom
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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