Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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