what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
