he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
