Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize