I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
