This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
