Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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