but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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