are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize