how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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