Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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