I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize