Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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