i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
