i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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