she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
