When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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