ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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