haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
