help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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