Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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