i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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