I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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