google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
