I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Did I show you my penis last night?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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