i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
