well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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