That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize