dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize