I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
