if you like me you must not know who I am
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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