It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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