the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
