if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
someone owes me an orgasm
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
BRING THE BAGELS
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Randomize