I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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