come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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