you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
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