he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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