dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
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Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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