i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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