We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
