He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize