that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I think your dad took our porno
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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