Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
