It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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