You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
