i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
