she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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