I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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