"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Randomize
