You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
