I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize