Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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