Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
