listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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