Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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