do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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