I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
