I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Say something about gay babies.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
